It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Randomize
