New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
