Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
