How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
