She is in my trunk
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
