I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
