Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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