maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Two words: blizzard sex
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
