Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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