Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
