another moral hangover. fuck.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
