I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize