It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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