i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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