I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
