Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
