im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
