do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
