Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will be naked everywhere
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
