I'm really into asian looking animals
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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