4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You really coming over, don't trick.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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