there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
