It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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