dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize