This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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