i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
