Hey man sorry I got all grabby
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
