at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We got so high we made milksteak
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
