so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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