Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
