if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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