A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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