I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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