The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
