Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
