I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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