I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
