I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
