are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
