This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
