Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
