There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
