The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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