I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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