I feel like abortions should bother me more
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I want a musical about memes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize