did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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