did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
