Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
