They should really pass out barf bags in church
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
