This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
