I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
