every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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