she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
