he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
