Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
