So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
