you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize