How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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