i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
