we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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