Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
