party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
