Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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