last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
