their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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